GONE GIRL – When movies make you fall in love with books

“There’s something disturbing about recalling a warm memory and feeling utterly cold.”

I will be frank. I rarely admire movies based on books. In my opinion, they never do justice to good writing. I find myself bitterly antagonistic towards them. If a movie is unable to match the image I have conjured up in my mind after reading a book, it disappoints me beyond measure. I am biased towards books and even more so towards good writers.

“There’s a difference between really loving someone and loving the idea of her.”

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn is a delightful book. Delightful. Ha! What a strange word choice. It is anything but that. It is dark, very much so, it is creepy and it will rock your faith time and again. Gone Girl by David Fincher is an even more delightful movie. You might not have heard about Gillian Flynn, but you do know David Fincher, don’t you? Seven, Fight Club, Panic Room, Lords of Dogtown, Zodiac, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Social Network,…..phew, the list is endless. Imagine a dark and thoughtful author like Flynn teaming up with a brooding and twisted director like Fincher and KABOOM. Have I got your attention yet?

“Love makes you want to be a better man. But maybe love, real love, also gives you permission to just be the man you are.”

The premise of the story is simple – a seemingly normal guy arrives home to find the house in slight disarray, suspects a bit of trouble and immediately calls the cops to report his missing wife. Once the cops come into the picture and the more you hear Nick Dunne (the male protagonist) speak, the story spirals into confusion and mayhem.

“It’s a very difficult era in which to be a person, just a real, actual person, instead of a collection of personality traits selected from an endless Automat of characters.”

There is one thing that unfailingly draws me towards a book. For most people it would be the ‘unusual plot’ but I prefer ‘good writing’ 10 out of 10 times. A book may tell me a story that has been repeated over generations but good writing will bring in a perspective unexplored by anyone else. Does that make sense? Some people just have a way with words. They could tell you something that you already know but in a manner that completely outfoxes you. How I love writers!

“Sleep is like a cat: It only comes to you if you ignore it.”

Flynn combines good writing with an unusual plot. What makes it even more mesmerizing is that the plot is presented in guise of an uncomplicated beginning. The more you read the book, the more you keep on changing your mind about it. Your thoughts regarding each and every character will keep evolving. They will keep shuttling between two extremes. You will start with liking someone only to end up hating them moments later or start with despising someone, only to sympathize with their plight after a a couple of chapters. And then, you will finally come to terms with the fact that right-wrong, good-bad, happy-sad, perfect-imperfect; are such flawed concepts afterall.

“My mother had always told her kids: if you’re about to do something, and you want to know if it’s a bad idea, imagine seeing it printed in the paper for all the world to see.”

Nick. Dear old Nick Dunne is the most honestly dishonest character I have ever come across (honestly dishonest…yeah well, this will make sense to some). I hate compulsive liars yet I can’t help but like him. One would think a person whose wife has gone missing might show a bit of emotion but Nick remains completely impassive for most part. And he lies about a lot of things, some completely unnecessary lies and some so blatant, that you start disliking the man with each passing second. In the first half of the book, Nick is painted as a lying insensitive cheat, who probably murdered his wife to get out of a troubled and boring marriage. In Fincher’s Gone Girl, Nick is played by Ben Affleck. I have never considered Affleck as a great actor. He is a gorgeous hunk, no doubt and has acted in some truly wonderful movies but none of his roles have ever appealed to me. Yes, he was good in Pearl Harbor and Argo but take any decent actor and he would have done the same in these movies. Perhaps, someone like Christian Bale might have done the roles even more justice. But as Nick Dunne, Affleck gets as close to perfection as he can ever get. I can, never ever never ever imagine anyone else in the role except him. For most of my life, I have always thought Affleck to be an actor with an indifferent air to him. He has fewer facial expressions than the fingers on E.T’s hand (go figure that one). But this same indifference is his biggest strength while portraying Nick. A silent brooding face, a smug smile, puppy dog intense eyes – that’s a charmer over there! For the same reason, I now feel he will be a decent Batman when Zack Snyder/Christopher Nolan’s next releases.

“And if all of us are play-acting, there can be no such thing as a soul mate, because we don’t have genuine souls.”

And then there is Amy Elliot-Dunne a.k.a Amazing Amy. If you despised Amy Elliot Dunne after finishing the book, you would probably want to slit her throat by the time you are done with the movie. That’s how good Rosamund Pike is. She is one beautiful woman. I first saw her in the Bond movie Die Another Day alongside Pierce Brosnan, later as the mellow and sweet Jane Bennet in Pride and Prejudice. She has done a few fine roles here and there but none as challenging as this one. Amy is a complex character. She is a complete bitch and a very worst one at that. She is pretentious and evil. She one of those people who spend their entire lives living a lie, pretending to be what they are not. But she is so good at it. Not many can boast about that. Amy wants to be perfect, that is how she is raised. That’s how her parents disciplined her. You feel sorry for her initially. She seems so fragile, so sweet, so pretty and so vulnerable. Until you realize it was just a mask. The things she does in the story are unbelievable. One would wonder about the limits of insanity a person may touch. And when you take someone as beautiful as Pike to play Amy, she becomes even more enchanting and tempting. She will shock you so many times in the book. She will make you hate her with so much passion that you will end up admiring her. Amy’s character is very devious, very unusual, very manipulative and very likable. Yes, likable just like Nick’s. They make an odd couple. Together they make Gone Girl work, both as a book and as a movie.

“It had gotten to the point where it seemed like nothing matters, because I’m not a real person and neither is anyone else.”

Marriage is a tricky business. Flynn exposes the dynamics of a failed marriage ruthlessly. She paints the imperfect picture with alarming conviction, exposing the stark reality of unstable relationships. Her characters are flawed and loathsome yet so openly endearing. Amy and Nick’s behavior might appear far-fetched at times, but their rocky relationship forms the base of a captivating morose tale.

“Friends see most of each other’s flaws. Spouses see every awful last bit.”

The book as well as the movie has a few good-natured light moments. The minor characters are elegantly etched and they provide some comic relief when you least expect it. The humor is subtle and candid, something which will bring a cute smile on your face or leave you chuckling knowingly. And it works. It works so very well for a serious book like this. The movie is near perfect. It has been adapted as it is with very minor changes. Even if you haven’t read the book, you will enjoy it just the same. But if you have indeed read the it, trust me, the movie will make you fall in love with the book once again. Gone Girl is an example of some exceptional writing skills that Flynn possesses. What amazing people writers can be and Flynn’s words weave a web of magic around you. The book is peppered with many short yet profound sentences and you can only savor them if you read it.

“I often don’t say things out loud, even when I should. I contain and compartmentalize to a disturbing degree: In my belly-basement are hundreds of bottles of rage, despair, fear, but you’d never guess from looking at me.”

Truth is so over-rated. Each person giving his own version of events ends up twisting the story so much that one cannot differentiate between facts and fiction. If each of us are right in our own way and each of us has an unique perspective, how can anything we say or do be entirely true or completely false, for that matter. Gone Girl settles comfortably in the in-between grey area, questioning our very basic definitions of good and bad. 

“My gosh, Nick, why are you so wonderful to me?’

He was supposed to say: You deserve it. I love you.

But he said,’Because I feel sorry for you.’

‘Why?’

‘Because every morning you have to wake up and be you.”

Congratulations ECB, Transformation complete!

 

Dear ECB,

 

Kevin Pietersen axed – not exactly my choice of words to sleep on. No sooner did this sentence flashed on my phone (at midnight India time), the first words that came out of my mouth were ‘WTF’.

Frankly, at the risk of being called rude and uncouth, I so desperately want to shower you guys with some of the choicest cuss words I have learnt over the years. Although I think I am being too gracious, surely you are not blind to the gravity of this mistake situation. My twitter is already in a state of meltdown!

I am trying to word this letter delicately, of course. I remember writing about KP a couple of years back. I have always believed people to be cloaked in shades of grey. There are no extremes of black or white; people cannot be entirely good or entirely bad. We all are mortal, we all make mistakes, we all lie. Yet, I do not know, how people around us find within themselves the will to love us back.

The world is changing, no longer do we chase illusions of perfection. Our icons are flawed. We learn to love their faults as much as their genius, their fears as well as their courage. No longer do we measure a person’s worth with a moral compass. We see glimpses of ourselves in their being and take inspiration from the fact that these people are as ordinary as us. That they have risen from an equally mediocre background like us and then went on to achieve extra-ordinary heights.

I know KP is brash and he says exactly what is on his mind. No, he isn’t the sensitive bloke and he isn’t going to sugar-coat his words for you. Yeah, he isn’t a team player, he is audacious, a bit of cock, so what? I don’t see any of you guys resonating any feeling of good-will among the ‘small 7’, those who you ditched to be a part of the ‘elite big 3’.

It is a kind of contradiction, a hypocrisy when you yourself are one of BCCI’s chamchas‘, err….their paid lackeys. And now you so diligently want to ‘change’ English cricket. Do you know, ‘Change’ can be defined in many ways? Change does not necessarily mean letting your best player go. Change does not mean crippling your team and throwing them into chaos. And change definitely does not mean persisting with that stone-age attitude of yours.

I do not know what you will to achieve by letting KP go that was otherwise impossible with him remaining back. It is more appropriate to look at England’s loss in the recently concluded Ashes as a collective failure rather than a one-man weakness.

For most part of the winter, I pitied you guys; leaving aside the fact that you are arrogant and basically a bunch a fools. The world sympathized when Trott left mid-way. Even the ones not so fond of him were sorry to see his mental breakdown. The world then got divided over Swann’s retirement. Although, most that I know expressed a good deal of undisguised disgust over his abrupt departure. As if the on-field drama during your overseas stay was not enough, tempers flared in the dressing room. So, the first thing that you guys did when everyone was back home was to sack ask Andy Flower to step down.

The much-publicised disharmony between Flower and KP would have deluded one into believing that it was a ploy to make sure KP remains. But his disintegration has now given fodder for what could be made into an Oscar/BAFTA classic if only you are willing to give Martin Scorsese or Quentin Tarantino the low down on the ugliness that breeds within.

I can begin to tell you how much people hate you, your own a majority of them. But my complaints, like that of several others, are going to fall on deaf ears. As an Indian, I already belong to a country with the most hated cricket board and a genuinely respected captain. As much as my own board president disgusts me, you licking the BCCI’s boots along with your pal CA, almost makes me pray over your…err…gullibility? priggishness?

‘Team philosophy and work ethics’ are just big words to be thrown around if you do not understand what they actual mean. How can you blame your shambolic performance on one man, your most successful player in years actually. He is brash and dynamic, so much so, that such an extensive team as yours is unable to handle one player? Do you even know how childish that sounds?

We spend our entire lives trying to live upto the expectations of others. Directly or indirectly seeking approval for our actions from people, who in reality, are caught in the vortex of their own insecurities. We label those who make an attempt to rise above this solemn circle. We crush them, grind them, and over the years render them utterly helpless to fight back. We have the power, we misuse it – as simple as that. 

Is accepting mistakes that hard? Is pride a better asset than a player? KP’s story is that of a rockstar – of fame, of controversies, of mistrust. Rockstars who ultimately wither away in loneliness of utter depression due to their obnoxiousness. Of reaching so high, that a fall is eminent.

KP has fallen too. However, he has fallen to rise in our eyes. He has fallen to stand tall. As much as we have loved to hate him and regarded him with such fierce intensity that we were forced to love him back, we stand by him now. Yeah he is a egoistic prick but we (still) stand by him.

Sadly, you, on the other hand, have chosen to fall like a tantrum-throwing kid. Go on, grace us with some fancy words to justify your decision. Oh, you will get your team alright! There is no dearth of talent in your country. Heck, you even know how to import players from other nations. So you will get there…may be not immediately but eventually. What then?

 

How fickle are the ones who hold the reins of this game’s future…how fleeting are the moments of sanity in its’ management. From Arrogant –> Over-Confident –> Scared shitless —> Defiant —> Stupid….Congratulations ECB, your transformation has been complete.

~ A disgruntled fan

No Heroes or Villains, Only Mortal Men cloaked in Grey…

I sit with “It’s not about the bike” in my right hand, with my left one wrapped tightly over a recently read copy of “Every second counts”. I frown as I keep turning both the books and see the man on both covers; he is smiling. I am not.

I sit thinking, deeply disturbed about the USADA’s decision to strip Lance Armstrong (follow @lancearmstrong) of his 7 Tour de France titles and ban him for life. And why shouldn’t it be disturbing? It’s not easy seeing the man you admire caught up in a controversy that embarrassing. It breaks my heart. This is not how I want to see my hero – frustrated, tired & finally giving up without a fight! He refused to give in to cancer, then why the hell is he refusing to fight now? Some, feel for him. Others think, his refusal to contest against the USADA’s decision is a testimony of his guilt. By now, in 2 days, you might have seen several of these stories doing rounds. The world is understandably divided. Fans are supporting him, critics are demeaning him while others on the sideline are just going with the flow. I don’t know whether Lance Armstrong is guilty or not. It’s a question that will be best answered by him. People might speculate a thousand things but in the end what we feel for him in our hearts is not going to change. Can you erase the memories of all the times he won those titles? Can you erase those smiles he put on peoples’ faces? Can you erase every word you read from his books? And can you forget what his foundation Livestrong represents?

This isn’t a stigma on a normal sportsperson. It is a stigma on a hero, on the sport and above all on the rosy picture we create around ourselves. So, suddenly, is Lance Armstrong the villain now? The cheat, The bad egg, The liar?

You have seen this cricket’s bad boy number of times. But as all bad boys, there is something irresistibly sexy about him – the tattooed arms, lean body, messy haircut and smoldering hot attitude. And although he would not be the guy you would normally like to bring home to meet your parents; he certainly is the one for late night bike rides. Kevin Pietersen (follow @kevinpp4) is all that and much more. Lately, he has been under a lot of flak from the ECB, team-mates, coaches for sending smses to his South African counterparts. Makes you wonder, since when did sending smses became such an unpardonable crime.

2011 was the year of the English cricket team. They created records, topped rankings, won cups and Pietersen had a large role to play in England’s rise. In the recent series against South Africa, England lost and had to give up their “No.1 team” title. However, that didn’t discourage them from sending KP packing off in wake of the final test. England lost, as expected. The one dayers’ also are not their best bet. South Africa just have to win one match to topple the rankings once more. And so they will, as expected. And although, England does have a lot of quality players in their side, it will be a miracle if they are able to defend the T20 Championship title next month.

Some say, KP’s career is over. Some say, he still has an outside chance. Some say, the ECB will keep him out of the team long enough to teach him a lesson & then take him back. But, who is an expert on the English pride? KP did make a sincere video apologizing for his behavior. But, bad boys never look the part of a “meek apologizer”. Who would expect that of them? For the authoritarian English people, this certainly must have sounded hollow & phony. It is difficult being a bad boy!

From purely cricketing point-of-view, keeping all the moralities aside, you would be a fool if you don’t admit the fact that when you have seen Mr. Kevin Pietersen batting, you have seen one of the best batsmen batting on the current international scene. As a fan, this fiasco deeply saddens me again. There will always be this looming dread that we might never see KP bat again for England. (Thanking IPL at this point). KP’s switch-hit – it became a rage earlier this year in IPL, KP’s sixes – something to die for, KP’s effortless batting – a treat to watch. The way he carries his 6 foot 4 inches frame, proudly flaunting his biceps, that cool look on his face, that cocky ‘too-sure’ attitude suits him perfectly right down to the confident swagger of his walk. You never want to be on the opposite team when KP’s batting. You just want to gaze from afar and be mesmerized. A hero or a villain? A hooligan, you say…

Two larger than life Heroes. People I have looked up to. For different reasons, yet for the same purpose – inspiration!

Even if you keep the cancer part apart, Lance Armstrong’s story in itself is a perfect storybook material. An ordinary boy with extra-ordinary talent went on to win 7 Tour de France titles and became the master of cycling. You come across thousands of such examples. People from a humble background making it big on the basis of their unquestionable determination and talent.

Now add to it the fact that, here was a guy who got testicular cancer that had metastasized to his brain & lungs at the young age of 25, he fought it, emerged victorious, came back to race again and win Tour de France. With this, the story has the making of an international bestseller. It is a story that makes you cry, that makes you smile, a story that tells you hope’s never lost. A story that gets etched on you brain and on your heart without any extra effort.

Cancer is not only a disease, it is also a curse. A curse so profound that it drags the person suffering from it to the depths of hell, while still alive. A curse so profound, that it condemns not only the unfortunate person, but also his or her loved ones as well. Cancer attacks one person, but destroys families! Still, many people fight it and survive. But Lance Armstrong was your no ordinary survivor, he was a ‘winner’ – through & through. His foundation – Livestrong today inspires and uplifts so many cancer affected people. In him, we found a hero who was much worthy of genuine accolades & love than the mere on-screen ones.

KP’s story still does not have a concrete ending. It is left to hang in uncertainly, poised in between unsure & undecided. A South African who felt intimidated by the quota system back home, migrated to England and earned a place in the national squad. Relinquished captaincy for a short while, faced critics audaciously, yet never compromised his game. Who cares if KP is not a team player? Who cares what he is as a person? One thing is true, what he is – is right there out in the front. No pretenses! He doesn’t wear those fake masks. Do you believe every other person in the English dressing room is a saint of magnanimous proportions? Or for that matter – are all players currently playing the game, crusaders of kindness, virtue & morality?

There are so many good players all over the world today. But, KP is something that only a few of them are – Entertaining!!! His batting can best be summed up as hypnotizing. OK, so we don’t have a hero with the best attitude in the world but we do have one with an attractive reckless streak.

The problem with us is that we always have believed that world could be divided into good and bad, right and wrong, yes and no. We, who are swathed into blankets of everyday frustrations search for heroic figures to look up to. Pure genius they say is something bestowed upon few. God might be generous in squandering talent around but when it comes to giving the brains & a hardworking will to utilize those talents, God is cruelly stingy. So, some of us, who are the unlucky lot look up to the one’s in the lucky lot.

Ever since humanity came into existence, it has taken upon ‘worship’ as it’s ultimate redemption tool. Any person, however conceited needs an idol to look up to. A seemingly perfect figure that serves as a benchmark for attesting self-achievements. A revelation, a motivation, an influence.

But, blind are we to the faults of the ones we deem as great. We do not realize that these people are mortals like us, living breathing mortals who drink & eat to live. When I wrote, Heroes are People too 3 years back, I expressed similar sentiments regarding the unusual predicament common people always find themselves in.

Heroes are people with their own past – none too different from your own. A past; that has regrets, embarrassing situations, mistakes, lies and secrets.

I have a friend who is allergic to eggs. Now you know as a general fact, that eggs are a rich source of proteins. Doctors, health professionals will recommend it as a part of our daily diet. Yet, if a person allergic to them happens to ingest some, they could be life-threatening. Are the eggs bad then???

How do we decide what’s good or bad? Based on the age-old moral values that we have been following all life? How do we know for a fact what is true and what is false? What is right or what is wrong?

Should we condemn Lance Armstrong now if tomorrow he admits his guilt? Should we abhor KP, just because he isn’t a team player?

Will we ever realize that people cannot be divided as Heroes or Villains? Will we ever realize that we cannot categorize every person between two extremes of black or white?

Will we ever realize that the best of men, famous or infamous, are always cloaked in subtle shades of grey…

 

 

(This is a personal account with no intention of causing harm. It is my view on two people that I greatly respect & like. For further insight into my life, I can be followed on twitter here @pillya)

A “VERY VERY SPECIAL” MAN

 

Dear VVS,

Within a matter of months we are again saying Goodbye. Seems just like yesterday that Dravid bid adieu to international cricket and here you are, doing the same. Even before India gets back to Test cricket after a long break, we have been left hopelessly depleted. It won’t sink in as yet. It will sink in when the first test against New Zealand begins in Hyderabad and we don’t have a middle order to call our own.

You are the third among the Greatest Four to announce his retirement in the last few years and without you the team is never going to be the same ever again. Change is a part of life, they say. But cricket as I knew it years ago when I was a kid is gradually changing. The deep sense of respect & gratitude people felt to the likes of you , Dravid, Kumble, Ganguly is not there anymore. The young blood today is cocky and confident. For them, this is more of an occupation and it’s no longer a gentleman’s game. The competition is tough and cricket could be an ideal career choice is dawning upon this generation’s parents.

What is it to be you, VVS? What is it, to play with stalwarts like Sachin and Rahul, yet, make your own separate identity? What is it, that made you special & appreciated? Is it only talent? Is it only perseverance? Or is it the warmth you exuded as a person? Is it the humility? Or the serenity?

You have always been the unsung hero and we never knew when did you became the vanquisher of the deadly Aussie brigade…

Just last November you hit that 176 n.o. to help India conquer an innings victory against West Indies, followed by the rare failure in Australia. Everyone exclaimed, your career’s over. I admit, the debacle in Australian sub-continent was shocking & humiliating but you weren’t the only one who failed. It was a collective failure. And we did recover from it in the limited overs format. Once again, we are back to playing good cricket and the upcoming test series is just another chance to bounce back in this format of the game.

What I now realize is that, people have taken you for granted so many times. Even now, an unspoken rumor was going around that you are going to quit soon after this test series, or maybe soon after the first match. It would be a fitting farewell, they said, in Hyderabad, your home-town.

But you just shut everyone up. You quit on your own terms, in your own way, unwilling to back down or show any kind of weakness. You said that the time was right, a time to let youngsters take the mantle. In doing so, you have left a huge void in the middle order. How the hell are we going to fill it so soon? You showed how a great cricketer never gets bogged down, and you have always held your head high. You admitted your mistakes, improved upon them and polished your own game in a way that it was enjoyable, entertaining & fascinating. You have emerged taller living among some of the great cricketers this world has seen and yet made for yourself a special place. How did you do it?

Rarely have I considered you amazing. You are no Sachin or Rahul or even a Sourav. But it is rightly said, “You never know what you have till you’ve lost it.” And now that we are losing you, I remember all those times when you have literally pulled Team India out of difficult situations.  Your first test century, a scintillating 167 against Australia in Sydney – just amazing. And who can forget that epic 281 again versus the Aussies that launched you as a superman.

I see so many quotes today by current and retired cricketers praising you. They have oodles of praise your batting, your temperament but above all, they have a great respect for your character, your personality. Almost all, have described you as a great human being. Those who have not expressed this verbally, in the depths of their heart, every person that has met you, has experienced the genuine warmth radiating from you.

Rahul Dravid’s tribute to you is very emotional. I absolutely loved these lines –

“When he walks in, whether you are batting in the middle or sitting in the pavilion and a wicket has fallen, he brings calm to the whole dressing room. I, personally, get a feeling of calm and solidity, not because Laxman will always score but because you know that he will never let you down in terms of effort: you know that he is there and he will pull his weight. There is no higher compliment. You know he has the requisite quality, and that he can read situations well. He has turned up in every circumstance: bad pitches, good pitches, when setting a total or after the opposition has piled up a big score.”

VVS, you really have been a different kind of inspiration for all. Not only for young batsmen but us mere mortals too. Your retirement was inevitable, everyone’s is. But you are walking away as a hero. And I bet, all Aussies’ are breathing a sigh of relief right now. 🙂

The team will move on….. it always does. Young & dashing Kohli is in an unbelievable form, Raina is looking good, Manoj Tiwary would get better, Ajinkya Rahane will be groomed and who knows, even Rohit Sharma bounce back. There is no dearth of talent in Indian cricket and Team India will always have a bright future.

But, it will never be the same again. We have lost another Ace today. In this pack of cards, now a solitary ace remains. He will fight till he feels right and retire on his terms too, just like all you people did.

I will miss you VVS. You have been a part of that Indian team which fueled my passion for cricket. You will be missed for that effortless ease you displayed while batting, for your shots, for your silent assault on bowlers, for that calmness, for that reverence, for being what in words sounds quite easy but in reality is something that you can’t say for many people – a good human being.

I salute you. And dedicate this letter to all genuine lovers of cricket. In you, let us all find inspiration to reach higher and make our own “very very special” place…

With lots of respect & adoration,

A fan who will always look up to you

THE WALL THEY COULDN’T TEAR DOWN

Dear Rahul,

I do not know how to address this letter, simply because, you always have been a kind of “hidden” figure for me. Growing up in an era graced with the very presence of Sachin Tendulkar, the man we consider as our God; your involvement in the game seemed secondary for us devotees.

Now when I look back, all those times shine yet again, to show me your equal greatness which might have been a bit overshadowed by one man’s presence. Yet I am amazed, that all these years have not faded you; instead you have become that support, that anchor, that wall who has stood tall and become clearer than ever. 

A year ago, when critics and cricket fanatics had written you off and fans sighed at your poor form, you have not only bounced back this year with a great performance but showed every cricket follower of what stuff you are made of. As opposed to Sachin, who midst great fanfare has tumbled records and added some of his own; you have been that silent killer, patiently biding your time, playing your natural game, slowly & surely moving towards pinnacles of perfection. You have been awe-inspiring, indeed.

When I first came to know that you were chosen as the first player outside Australian subcontinent to deliver the Bradman Oration; my first thought was – Why you? Why not Sachin? While as a die-hard Sachin fan my emotions fall perfectly in their place; right now, let me tell you, I am embarrassed of accepting this. When I first read your speech at the Bradman Oration, I had goosebumps on my arms. It took almost 5 mins after I finished reading to finally snap back into reality. I read it. Re-read it. Re-read it again. Re-re-read it and in 48 hours I have been basking in the glory of those sentences….smiling inwardly at those little anecdotes you sprinkled along the way….thinking seriously about the issues you put forth and watching awe-struck at the finesse you displayed while delivering this speech. You have left me spell-bound. It takes a lot of courage for a Sachin fan like me to accept that you, Rahul, have conquered a place in my heart and earned a respect so great that it will last a lifetime. Your speech and the video has become my daily fodder since.

I absolutely loved your opening para –  “We cricketers devote the better part of our adult lives to being prepared to perform for our countries, to persist and compete as intensely as we can – and more. This building, however, recognizes the men and women who lived out the words – war, battle, fight – for real and then gave it all up for their country, their lives left incomplete, futures extinguished.”

It shows your strength of character in such a way that I can’t help but admire & feel proud of the fact that I am an Indian. 

The issues that you have put forth have made people sit up and take things seriously. Now whether something will be done about it, who knows….but at least you have given them something to ponder on. When I was younger, I always used to have a blast with my friends watching matches, enjoying them, playing our own version of cricket….While, I still enjoy discussing, watching & playing cricket with them; Sadly, most of my friends have been distanced from the game feeling that there has been too much of it lately and it has lost its original charm. It sometimes scares me and makes me wonder that this one thing that fills a spark in my life may one day suddenly vanish from my life too; especially when I think about Sachin’s retirement.

However, cricket has been so much of religion for me; losing it will be like losing my identity as a person and my meaning as a die-hard fan. Cricket has been family. Not a commercial bandwagon but a sentimental roller-coaster that I believe fuels not only mine but millions of other lives all over the world. 

And yes; as you say, it is this generation that has the power to re-write history, to set a tradition to honor the game and come to terms with the fact that players will come and go but the game will truly live on…

Your bold decision of quitting one day internationals especially at a time when the selectors were just realizing your mettle; was indeed commendable. You showed them that you aren’t a puppet to be pushed around. You command a respect that is as unparallel as the devotion that Sachin receives. Just because you have been a quiet and humble player throughout cricketing history doesn’t mean that you are dumb. But it actually means you exhibit an intelligence so profound, that few even have the capacity to grasp it. Recently, when you were felicitated for  being the second highest run scorer in Test history, my heart swells with pride to realize what rare gems this Indian soil has produced. 

Being a person of few words, the long speech you delivered gave us a glimpse of your intense passion for the game…the reverence you showed while uttering Sir Don’s name and the genuine warmth you displayed when you mentioned Sachin shows us the purity of your heart. The elegance, the poise, the perfection, the humbleness you display while batting truly puts you in a class of your own and you applied the same rule during this speech and touched our hearts in such an intimate way, that I feel a deep sense of affection towards you.

I came across the poster below while searching for your photos online. For once, I am not annoyed that it shows Sachin in a lesser light than you; instead I am amused as to why I didn’t realize before the importance of this simple statement.

Rahul, you are yet another person I would like to thank after Sachin for showing me what cricket is all about. For being that “lambi race ka ghoda” we all momentarily forgot. For being an inspiration…..a legend….a man that we have all come to respect. If it’s “utmost devotion” for Sachin, it’s “genuine respect” for you. If it’s “unconditional love” for Sachin, it’s “undying trust” for you. If it’s “pure admiration” for Sachin, it’s definitely a “standing ovation” for you for being the man we all look upto.

I always joke with my friends that if Sachin Tendulkar came in front of me, I probably wouldn’t know  what to say because I would definitely pass out cold with the euphoria of seeing him in the front of me. While, the same wouldn’t apply when I see you Rahul; I would certainly bend and touch the ground you walked upon. My love for Sachin probably doesn’t leave a space for anyone else but my respect for you has increased ten-fold, perhaps more and it’s one thing that I as a fan can sincerely give you.

I will dedicate this post to all your true fans and encourage my Sachin fans to read this too. ‘coz as people you two may be as different as chalk and cheese but inherently there is something divine in both of you.

And if at all, you ever come across this letter, let me tell you, I mirror the words of a much larger crowd. And I stand in front you with folded hands, praying to a man we never dubbed as god but worshiped all the same……a man we never understood……a man who lived in shadows yet one day unknowingly became greater than it that we had to stand up and take notice….a wall that we could never tear down…

With lots of respect, admiration & awe,

A  fan whose loyalties you just earned for life

I USED TO HAVE A BEST FRIEND…

(“I used to have a best friend” shares its similarities with the previous poem “We’ve drifted apart”. However, this one looks from the angle of a friend; friendships are so important in life. We can survive with the loss of a lover but losing a friend is like losing your identity; losing the very meaning of life!

The end of this poem might seem abrupt. But I have deliberately left it so. Because life loses its completeness with the loss of a best friend and this poem best remains incomplete…. )

I used to have a best friend

and he made my life whole

A friend, philosopher, guide

He played my life’s every role

I used to have a best friend

He used to live in my smile

Fill my surroundings with laughter

And make my time worthwhile

I used to have a best friend

He used to make me dance

And make my heart break into a song

With a single loving glance

I used to have a best friend

Who used to stand by me in thick & thin

Never did he let my days

Sink into chaos and din

I used to have a best friend

who also made me cry

But when I fell down & could not get up

He taught me how to fly

I used to have a best friend

Who sometimes got angry with me

Yet when we didnt talk for even a minute

He would beg and come to plea

I used to have a best friend

And though we had many a fight

In the end he just hugged me

And everything seemed so right

I used to have a best friend

And we used to talk every day

We might be anywhere in the world

But by thought, were never away

His calls fueled my happiness

His voice got me through the day

And when I was overwhelmed with work

He made everything okay

And then all changed……….

The calls dwindled & came to a stop

The mornings turned very bleak

The very reason that brightened my day

Went from strong to being weak

Sometimes I would remember some joke

Some funny moment we shared

And memories would come rushing back

As if he still cared

I didn’t know, whom to tease to

Or with whom to share my woes

I guess when best friends break up

They end up worse than foes

Death is not the only thing that separates people

Believe me, its true

What separates people is ignorance

Of a relationship they once knew

When the person who loved you once

Now behaves as if you don’t exist

And when you try to go away

He doesn’t even try to resist

I can cope with the loss of a mentor

I can cope with the loss of  a lover

But losing a best friend is traumatic

No identity left to discover

No other friend can make up

For the void that the best one has left

Even when you surround yourself with people

Forever  does life harbors; a deep-rooted painful cleft

If you have lost a best friend

You may know how it might feel

There’s no meaning to your life

How much ever you try to conceal

I used to have a best friend

I used to have a life

I used to have a best friend

I used to have a life

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOD

Somebody: Hey, are you an atheist?

Me: No, I am a believer!

Somebody: You mean, you actually BELIEVE in GOD?

Me: Yeah, whats wrong with it?

Somebody: How can you believe in something that you have NEVER seen???

Me: Who said that I have not yet seen God?

Somebody: You mean you HAVE?

Me: Yup!

Somebody: Are you kidding me?

Me: Nopes!

Somebody: You have actually SEEN GOD in FLESH & BLOOD?

Me: Thats what I said!

Somebody: How? Where? When? What?

Me: I HAVE SEEN MY GOD.

I have seen him dedicating his life to something he believes in for 20 long years.

I have seen him opening the batting for India and the Mumbai Indians year after year.

I have seen him hitting centuries and centuries in tests and one day internationals.

I have seen him when he went to become the first and the only player so far to hit a double century in one day cricket.

I have seen him accepting countless “Man of the Match” and “Man of the Series” awards.

I have seen him hitting boundaries like never-stopping missiles

I have seen him exuding talent in all forms of the game.

I have seen him turn things in to gold just by touching them…..

Somebody: Hey, wait. I know what you are talking about. You mean that Tendulkar guy! He is the one? He is YOUR god? Baah!

Me: Yes, he is!

Somebody: But how can he be a God? He’s human!!!

Me: Whats wrong in worshiping a human? As far as I know, the Christians do the same! Jesus was the son of God, not god himself.

And so do Hindus? Don’t we worship, Lord Rama?

Somebody: Puh-leaze! Thats different. Those were mighty men with extraordinary powers. Why would anyone want a human god who is as ordinary as you and me? I mean, even Superman and Spiderman are supposed to have miraculous powers never seen on earth!

Me: Really? So, the prerequisite for worshiping someone is that they have alien powers and the ability to fly and glide over tree tops and mountains? Ridiculous!

Somebody: Why ridiculous? What about cricket then? Its just a game, right? Its not as if winning a world cup is going to make India a super power or just bcoz a guy name Sachin Tendulkar lives here, The floods are going to stop and it will rain plenty but in control, and there will be no earthquakes, no bomb blasts, not any other natural calamities either…..

Me: Well, these things have happened anyways even when Gods walked upon this earth.

It doesn’t count through what amount of burden and trials and tribulations we are put through; what counts is our willingness to get back on our feet!

Why wouldn’t I worship Sachin Tendulkar? What cricket-loving fan wouldn’t?

Whats wrong in worshiping the dedication that guy exhibits. The sheer patience and ample of self-control for 20 long years.

Whats wrong in worshiping a guy who never utters a bad word on field? Who maintains so much poise and dignity even when the opposite person is ridiculing him or cursing him. So much so that the person opposite gets embarrassed with such an open display of humility!

Whats wrong in worshiping genius in its purest form? The unaltered talent and the untarnished brightness that drips from him.

Whats wrong in worshiping an unbelievable display of hard-work and sincerity where most of us youngsters get bored even to walk a few steps to the supermarket?

Whats wrong in worshiping the lavish praise for other players that he is never tired of giving?

Whats wrong in worshiping the selfless guidance that he provides to upcoming players and fans?

Whats wrong in worshiping a dedicated family man who finds time for his wife and kids?

Whats wrong in worshiping an unselfish donor who donates countless money to the charity anonymously?

Whats wrong in worshiping the insatiable hunger he has for improving himself, correcting his own self, competing against his own self, beating his own records, bettering his own natural game?

SACHIN RAMESH TENDULKAR is not a lesson in cricket, my dear. He is a lesson in life itself.

It takes both Gods and Humans to make this earth, my friend.

The only difference is –

We bring some Gods to the level of Humans AND

We take some humans to the level of Gods.

(And I have one such God in the form of Sachin Tendulkar. On his 37th birthday, this is a post right from the heart.

Wishing you loads of success, happiness and a very happy birthday, Sachin……)

HEROES ARE PEOPLE TOO

(Michael Jackson’s death on June 25th, 2009 came as a shock to people all over the world. Never had I thought, that the person whose tunes I grew up on, can die someday, so suddenly, so unexpectedly. I thought him as timeless, as eternal, as interminable….. So did his millions of fans all over the world.

His death, makes us think…..that in reality, death is not partial even to one so famous. All people those we worship in life, be them ordinary ones or even great celebrities, all; all of them are mere mortals. And one day, like us, they will die too.

Yet what will be different about their death is that, they will still continue to live; in our hearts, in our soul, in their talents, their work and in all those people whose lives they have touched.

And this will inspire us that we can be like them too…..

To, Michael Jackson, a person who was our idol, our hero; I dedicate this poem, straight from the heart……….)

We look up to them & are in awe

For they are something different & nice

We love them with all our heart & soul

And follow their all advice

Yet sometimes we are confused

as to what is false & what is really true

How easily do we forget that-

Heroes are people too!

Their successes are our own

Their wins fill us with joy

They are revered as they are

Whether aggressive, sweet or coy

Their downfall is a wound

That never heals in us

Their failures a bad dream

That makes us badly cuss

Its as if our life is attached

To their very existence

No reason justifies our love for them

Be it logic or great distance

Yet sometimes we hate them

Why; we don’t have a clue

How easily do we forget that-

Heroes are people too!

For us, they are an open book

We expect they have nothing to hide

For us, we want them to move ahead

Leaving their personal life aside

When they give us happiness

We lift them up & worship them so

And their mistakes give us sorrow

Its like being struck by a blow

We pry in to what they are

We discuss their all affairs

But we still love their mannerisms

Those high-fi graces and airs

Yet sometimes, they seem so plastic

Like some entity new

How easily do we forget that-

Heroes are people too!

Their illnesses is a cause of concern

They begin residing in our prayer

One so talented should have a long life

Eternal should be the person so rare

And when they die, their death is a shock

Ordinary, what their life seems

For we thought them to be invincible

The rulers of our dreams

But they are mere mortals

Who live like us & die

But between their life & death

Give such a good try

That their ordinary life

Is much more than what ours is

Talents they learn to put to use

Thats what makes them a whiz

And so even when death takes them away

They still live within our heart

They house a particular corner in our mind

And never do they depart

So what they inspire us to do is that

We can be immortal too

They live their life with just a little difference

Otherwise, Heroes are people too!

ENCLOSED MEMORIES

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.

~ The Wonder Years

How funny and sad yet true; Memories have a much stronger hold on us than we imagine them to have. Ever wondered, when we look back, why do we laugh over all the troubled times of the past that don’t matter much now AND how pathetically we cry over all the happy ones that will never come again. Because, Sorrow in the long run, is nothing but a point of life to grow and learn and smile about and Happiness, in long run becomes a pain to endure forever….

Yet, for us, memories represent our whole lives. Even a 10 year old kid recounts the days when he was a baby. And then, as we grow older, our bag of memories becomes heavier and heavier until to the very end of our life, when we are a stooping old man, with a big sack of both pleasure and pain positioned on our back. A sack of memories…..

A camera is something all of us desire. We long as kids for those cartoon models, short and compact. We like showing them off to our buddies, clicking pictures on the playground, in the cafeteria, in classrooms, birthday parties, hanging out in the backyard, family outings….just about everytime. We wish to enclose every single moment in a picture or in a video. And years later, when we open up that dusty album, we automatically get transported to a different world. A world that once was our own. But, a world where we are mere strangers now.

I can remember all the cameras that I have owned. I still have them, safe and sound, yet I never stopped buying newer and newer models. This one’s the latest, the new sony cybershot. Its small and cute and now means everything to me.

Some years back, even the memories from the camera took a long time to develop. The film inside needed to be washed and then you used to get the photos. However, now with the advent of digital cams, you can have even few hours old memories stored safely on your computer.

This is one of the earliest picture that I clicked. I simply loved the simplicity of it. It was not a sigficant moment at all. Yet I know, as long as I have this picture, I shall remember that day. A very normal sunny day, with the beautiful sun shining, a forget-me-not blue sky, clouds like white cotton candy and flowers like innocent little children dancing along with the light cool breeze.

A moment so fleeting, so ordinay……a memory so everlasting, so extraordinary…..

Life is beautiful, just like the flower. So pure and white and it encloses so many memories. So many moments of “I wish”, “If only” and “What if”….. Of “could been” and “have been”. Of death, despair, disappointments, of hurt and wounds. Of life, love, joy, successes, of mirth and laughter. Of family and friends, of complete strangers, of the vast nature, of even the animals and the birds.

Life is like food. So very delecious, so very tasty and so very very necessary. It is something, without which, we cannot live. So is life. Life is different from Existence. In existence, we only exist but in Life, we live, we grow, we learn, we teach and we love….

Life is like food. Colorful. Tempting. Aromatic. It is our fuel. It compels us to always keep moving forward and never look back. o go on and on. It keeps supplying the energy and we keep converting it to do something productive.

People fade out from our lives. Not all, but chosen few are destined to be with us forever; while most of them last a season. (Previous entry: A reason for a season)

We keep on living no matter what. For us, no one’s gone, no one dies, we keep them alive day after day, night after night. Physical death is a mere certainty but people go on living in every memory they shared.

So strong are the memories, so strong their power, so obvious their existence yet so unpredictable their effect. They are an essential component of our life, something without which we are incomplete, something that connects our one life with millions of others, something that tunes our heart to the music of the world….

So, get a camera and start clicking. It need not be an expensive one. Even a small one will do. Click and store the photos, send them to family and friends, display them to the world. ‘Coz every moment that you captured, was once a part of your life which can never be erased. Every memory that will keep you alive even when you go away. A proof that you lived, you loved, you laughed and you enjoyed.

I know, our brain is a wonderful organ. And we can store memories there without having a camera. But, what a camera does is, it never misses any details. And sometimes, details are the only things that make a memory whole and authentic. You might use it for certain family functions or trips and all special ocassions and still know that even when you click a picture on a perfectly ordinary day, it gets etched in the life as an extraordinary never-before moment….

Life is indeed a MEMENTO……

TURNING NEGATIVES INTO POSITIVES

A joke used to do round in my maths class when I was in school. It was so that a boy comes late to school and asks the teacher whether he could enter the class. The teacher says, “NO.” The boy asks again and gets the same answer. However, on hearing the second NO, he quietly enters the class and takes his seat. The teacher is enraged and questions the boy that I didn’t allow you to enter, yet you disobeyed me. Why? The boy replies serenely, “Well, you said NO twice and we have been taught in maths, that two negatives make one positive!” 🙂

 

I used to laugh over the silliness of the boy and also admire his smartness. Now, when I actually have heard the joke over and over again, I realize that its not a joke. It is infact one of the most important lessons of life.

Everyone takes their life so negatively. We dissect and analyze the dark side so much that we forget the beauty of the other side. Not only do we do not look beyond the obvious but also dampen the hopes of all those who try to be different. We label others as “over-optimistic” and cover our negativity in the guise of “reality-practical thinking”.

 

When we fail, we become sure that it was always meant to be so. We accept it on our own terms. We firmly believe that we are the unlucky ones. We blame the destiny. We blame the society. We just about blame everything that is around us. We take other people’s experiences as our own and don’t understand that two people can look exactly at the same thing yet see something totally different. We take up age-old notions and degrade them further, turn them as negative as we can.  

 

Have we ever thought of working on these negatives? Have we ever believed that, every cloud has a silver lining? Have we ever converted our negatives into positives?

 

We take our weaknesses as our second nature. Instead of working on them, we excuse them as our basic attributes and believe that those can never change. We take our failures as an unlucky fate and cry and sulk and make ourselves miserable. We think we are the unluckiest person in the world and all bad things apparently to us.

 

Have we ever tried to use our strengths to overcome our weaknesses? Have we ever rationalized a particular situation in such a way that we allow us to observe the good side of things?

 

There is positive in everything you see. In 9th grade, our classroom wall had a frame hung on it. There was a single line written on it, “There’s never a WRONG time to do the RIGHT thing.” The quote still uplifts me, when I have to do a difficult thing. I realize the value of it. Realize the positive energy flowing through it.

All the positives in your life, however minuscule they may be, they have the infinite power to convert the entire negativity into a desirable force.

My life has been going haywire for a past few weeks. But, I am hanging on. I have suddenly understood that all the delicate situations that I have been facing so far have been a mixture of both sorrow and joy. Now, when I retrospect, I realize my joy at that time had the surprising potential of being highly negative and all my sorrows, if dissected well, held a tremendous amount of positivity.

If I learnt so much from everyday experiences, so can you! 

 

Always remember, situations may be bad, but we have something in us that can turn things our way. And that is the power of extracting the hidden positivity in any thing. Nothing in this world is 100% good or 100% bad.

There’s a little angel in every demon and a little demon in every angel….