CROSSROADS

Here we stand as silent can be

At the crossroads of our lives

If silence is the goodbye we deserve

In silence shall we walk away

A different path awaits you

A different path I am forced to choose

And although, it’s with you that I would rather be

I walk away beyond the hill

 
I wish I could walk behind you

To support you on your road

And when I couldn’t save you from your fall

To fall with you & stumble my way ahead

It’s at time like these that I feel like a stranger

When I am driven out of our life

Like an outsider I warily watch

But I am not allowed to sneak in

 
Why am I not the person I thought myself to be?

Why am I an alien in my own life?

Why is the perfect world that I built;

Just a pack of dirty lies?

 
I believed I was your soulmate, who with you binds this life

The bearer of your sorrows

The multiplier of your joys

Isn’t it funny that I am the FIRST person with whom you always shared your joys

But somehow I am the LAST one to know when sorrow hazily clouds your eyes

 
And here I thought, I am your other half

To hold your hand and fight the world

To soothe your hurt and to pat your back

To look into your eyes and say, I am with you no matter what

 

A thousand joys of you I could miss

But I am not allowed in your troubles and it hurts to bad

Loneliness is a bitch they say

Now I know why

As I drag your burden along with me

In the darkness of the night I cry

 
The life that I live is one big mess

The food that I eat, tasteless

The air that I breathe, chokes me to death

As continue dying every day

 

I don’t know whether our roads will meet

Or is this the kind of goodbye that lasts forever

I don’t know whether this was a dream

Or perhaps a nightmare that never wavers

There ain’t a tomorrow in this world

Just a string of yesterdays’

This is not how I imagined we would part

In the noise of silent tears

All around me people swing to the tune

As I force myself to sing the song

The charade of happiness I continue to show

‘coz this is the penance I need to do

Whatever that redeems me into your life

To suffer with the happiness of others

To suffocate with the shallow love

I will laugh like crazy and never cry

I will smile a lot and never try

Each laughter a wound that will cut me through

Each joy something that burns me from within

 

I will take my road with me far far away

Across great oceans so vast

Never will they meet tomorrow nor today

To go on and on without having to face each other

 
But before I go away, come to the meadow on the edge

To see me walk away

To know how much it hurts to be an outsider

And although you know your hurt is greater than what I feel

Know this, I carry the burden of both our lives

So even if for you I am not worthy enough to share your sadness

And I am not the person you let me believe myself to be

Know this, whoever I am I shall be the shield that hides you away from death’s eyes

 

This life has already ended and the path I must tread is longer than yours

The pain so intense and the hurt so extreme

That I wish I was dead

But I must suffer

Only to give you chance

And I would take a million of deaths like these

For you to continue to the end of your path

But I shall leave my eyes behind

To watch over you until the sun sets in

And in the darkness of the lonely night

When you would least expect

As you sleep a dreamless sleep

I will run my fingers thru your hair

I would kiss you goodnight


And you will never know

‘coz I will have to hurry back to my road

OK. Don’t let me enter your life

I will watch over you as long as I live

At the end someday you may realize

It’s me who bleeds with your pain

For just once hold onto my hand

And I would welcome such a death again…..

 

I shall make a pact with the devil

For in me, he has a soul to take

It’s the pain that defines me now

The life I live a FAKE….

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