THE LONGING

(The worst gift that you can give to the person you love the most is that of “waiting”. Because an eternity passes away yet you do not know when “the wait” will end. You do not know for how long it will stay. You do not know whether it will let you come back or force you to go away forever. Never to return. Never to look back. Never to rekindle the hopes of the ones waiting for you. The longing of being united..the longing of coming back…the longing for memories shared only in dreams….the longing of relationships that could have been……)

I wait for the time to pass

And come to that particular day

A day I had lived in the past

A day that took you away

Now it will repeat itself

Now it will live again

A day as insignificant as any other

A day that even time could not contain

I set my eyes on memories so old

An emotion so complex that words can’t hold

A separation that tears apart the very existence

A ballad of sentiments that remained untold

A touch of hope and that of despair

A joy unlimited yet bonded by care

A love so strong that it consumed all

Of protected instincts that were laid bare

A voice of sadness that trickles from the lips

A scarlet river like the blood that drips

A pain so profound that it perishes all

Like an unknown destination of many a ships

I still stand by the window

and count the stars

A lost memory

that we proclaimed ours

Left behind are

the broken threads

Left behind

a handful of scars

I am wiping out the proof

of pleasure and pain

The insolent dance

of sunshine and the rain

And withhold all happiness

till I reach that day

Till I gather the smiles

yet again

I thought waiting forever

had made me strong

Had took me beyond

what’s right & wrong

Still, as moments

come to close once & for all

I feel as if

I’ve forgotten the song

Years so many

were easy to pass

But months so few

I can’t outlast

And when the countdown

reaches to days

I will be left picking up

fragments of broken glass

I am here physically

but my mind’s elsewhere

I hear voices but pretend

not to care

It isn’t necessary that I indulge in

common things

Of everyday happenings

I don’t seem aware

I live in a world

fueled by imagination

That seeks out paths

to lost destinations

No language to express

just kingdom of silence

Yet I hold

perfectly sane conversations

I know nothing now

except the very end

A longing of

a distant & dear friend

An affection that surpassed

great understandings

So there’s nothing left now

to comprehend……

I HAVE / HAD A DREAM

All those who listen to Westlife might know of their popular song, “I have a dream….”

Sometimes I wonder whether life is really as positive and as colorful as described in the song. Do our beliefs really have the potential to conquer any damn thing in this world? Is life really as easy as this….that we get anything that we wish for….that all are dreams are born to be fulfilled….that all desires that originate in our hearts set to reach their destination…

I used to think, all dreams get fulfilled. But its not so. Some remain buried in the heart forever….not to be forgotten but to remind us that at some point of the time when we had the control of our life, we never took it. We let ourselves to be carried away with the flow and now we look back and regret that life is not what we wanted it to be!!!

What remains back are shadows of the past that keep on haunting…

If you have the strength to fight back, perhaps its never too late. Now may be the time to get up and set things right. What never manifested when there was a time for it, perhaps can return on different time-lines. There was afterall, never a WRONG time to do the RIGHT thing!

It’s how we feel within ourselves—-

I HAVE a dream   OR

I HAD a dream

DEATH IS THE ONLY CERTAINTY OF LIFE

They say, with passing time, you get used to all sorts of things. How wrong. There’s one thing, you could never get habituated to— DEATH! Death of a loved one!

What could be worse a pain? A pain of losing a parent, a pain of losing a child, a pain of losing a sibling, a pain of losing a friend, a pain of losing anyone whom you have loved and cherished in life.

Life is never easy. It puts us through all sorts of exams and tests before and teaches us the lesson afterwards. But above all, life is unpredictable. You never know what turn it will take. You never know how fast or slow it will move. You never know what it will unfold in front of you.

The moment you begin to think, everything’s fine, something happens. Suddenly, from a perfect picture you are thrown in a bleak and gloomy one.

If you have lost someone dear, you’ll know what it means. How tears never cease and sorrow never diminishes. How nights suddenly seem longer and sleep so elusive. How the love in you is waiting to pour out, yet the hate in you gradually builds up.

For just once I wish, I could understand, how the mind of death works…..

Why do people whom we love the most are taken away quickly?

Why is it that bad people who do all sorts of wrong live a long and healthy life while the good ones pass away?

Even if these questions are answered, the unpredictability and unexpectability of life will not stop to exist.

We take everything so much for granted. We hurt our own people, behave as we like, simply because we know there will be a tomorrow.

But the truth is, theres never a tomorrow, theres only a today.

If you want to say Sorry, say it today.

If you want to say I love you, say it today.

If you want to set something right, do it today.

For tomorrow, may never dawn in your life or someone else’s life.

Now is the time. This is the time that is true. Rest all is just an illusion.

Death isn’t the culprit. The culprit is our own thoughts. Our attachments. Our relationships.

In reality no one is to blame. For if we have the right to enjoy the greatest joy in the world, we have the obligation to go through the greatest sorrow of all times.

Its surprising, how quickly we get over it, later on. We continue our normal life. That doesn’t mean, our love for someone was mediocre. Its just that, we realize, we still have a life to live. Our work on this earth is still not over. And until we ourselves leave this realm, we have to move on.

After all, you get used to live without people. Maybe, you won’t get over with the happening of the death, but you can live without the person.

You know, what is more difficult.

What is difficult is, To laugh without people in life…

To be happy without people in life…

To form memories without people in life…

Because, at the end of the day, that’s what remains—MEMORIES.

Sometime when you are alone, this collection of memories is all that you have to cherish and remember people as they were AND it is accompanied with the hurt that the person who helped you form those memories will never help you form a bunch of other ones…

With this post I salute the human spirit in us that makes us strong that we are able to bear the loss of near and dear ones. I dedicate this post to all those of you, who have lost a many. Life is not immortal but memories are. And after all, death is the only certainty of life. May your memories help in filling out the void created by the people who left you and are gone forever.

(Read earlier posts)

http://sonalismrules.wordpress.com/2007/10/29/death/

http://sonalismrules.wordpress.com/2007/11/29/immortal/

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ME?

Often I wonder, how much other people’s opinions matter to us. How much we are dependent on others to give us a clean-chit. Its as if we love to be commented upon. Commented on each and every thing about us; about how we do a particular thing to how we dress or how we look. It means a great deal to us.

We expect opinions from all people. Our family and friends, our neighbors and even people whom we don’t even know. But, do we wonder, why exactly do we want others comments and opinions?

Expecting opinions might be a sign of improvisation. We welcome suggestions that will help us to be better individuals. We count upon our near and dear ones to correct us when we are wrong, to show us the right way, to learn from our mistakes and to be careful in future.

Its true how much we look forward for a response from people. Its not only about improvisation but also about feeling appreciated. A word of encouragement, a word of appreciation, a word of gratitude makes us feel wanted.

BUT then,we start being over-dependent on these things. We take every statement to the heart. Every little opinion counts.

It matters to us when people say bad about us. We cry over trivial things. We get upset because someone didn’t approve of our doings.

We sulk for days when people curse us, when they talk bad about us.We think about useless things.

  

I know, honest and sincere words are always welcome. Criticism is always a help.

But we should understand the difference between people who want to help us and those you just like to make us miserable.

People act so cynical at times. They speak good on our faces and show their true colors once we turn our back to them. Some of them are not satisfied with anything. It doesn’t matter to them just how you are going to behave. They will find faults with everything. 

The best way to deal with such people is to ignore them. Strangers are easy to over-look. However, surprisingly, you realize the presence of such people within close family members too. It becomes difficult to accept that near & dear ones can go to such degrading levels.

But then, it takes all sorts to make this world.

 

Hundred different people might have hundred different opinions about you. These will be valued throughout life. But in the end, what matters is what YOU think of YOURSELF! How you judged yourself! There is no one in this world who understands you better than you do.

 

Words of people who really love us will matter to build our self-confidence. But, ultimately we make our own personalities.

So, next time, you are in self-doubt and feel the need to be commented upon, don’t ask anyone else. Just peep in the mirror and ask, “Hey, what do you think of ME…..?” 

TURNING NEGATIVES INTO POSITIVES

A joke used to do round in my maths class when I was in school. It was so that a boy comes late to school and asks the teacher whether he could enter the class. The teacher says, “NO.” The boy asks again and gets the same answer. However, on hearing the second NO, he quietly enters the class and takes his seat. The teacher is enraged and questions the boy that I didn’t allow you to enter, yet you disobeyed me. Why? The boy replies serenely, “Well, you said NO twice and we have been taught in maths, that two negatives make one positive!”

 

I used to laugh over the silliness of the boy and also admire his smartness. Now, when I actually have heard the joke over and over again, I realize that its not a joke. It is infact one of the most important lessons of life.

Everyone takes their life so negatively. We dissect and analyze the dark side so much that we forget the beauty of the other side. Not only do we do not look beyond the obvious but also dampen the hopes of all those who try to be different. We label others as “over-optimistic” and cover our negativity in the guise of “reality-practical thinking”.

 

When we fail, we become sure that it was always meant to be so. We accept it on our own terms. We firmly believe that we are the unlucky ones. We blame the destiny. We blame the society. We just about blame everything that is around us. We take other people’s experiences as our own and don’t understand that two people can look exactly at the same thing yet see something totally different. We take up age-old notions and degrade them further, turn them as negative as we can.  

 

Have we ever thought of working on these negatives? Have we ever believed that, every cloud has a silver lining? Have we ever converted our negatives into positives?

 

We take our weaknesses as our second nature. Instead of working on them, we excuse them as our basic attributes and believe that those can never change. We take our failures as an unlucky fate and cry and sulk and make ourselves miserable. We think we are the unluckiest person in the world and all bad things apparently to us.

 

Have we ever tried to use our strengths to overcome our weaknesses? Have we ever rationalized a particular situation in such a way that we allow us to observe the good side of things?

 

There is positive in everything you see. In 9th grade, our classroom wall had a frame hung on it. There was a single line written on it, “There’s never a WRONG time to do the RIGHT thing.” The quote still uplifts me, when I have to do a difficult thing. I realize the value of it. Realize the positive energy flowing through it.

All the positives in your life, however minuscule they may be, they have the infinite power to convert the entire negativity into a desirable force.

My life has been going haywire for a past few weeks. But, I am hanging on. I have suddenly understood that all the delicate situations that I have been facing so far have been a mixture of both sorrow and joy. Now, when I retrospect, I realize my joy at that time had the surprising potential of being highly negative and all my sorrows, if dissected well, held a tremendous amount of positivity.

If I learnt so much from everyday experiences, so can you! 

 

Always remember, situations may be bad, but we have something in us that can turn things our way. And that is the power of extracting the hidden positivity in any thing. Nothing in this world is 100% good or 100% bad.

There’s a little angel in every demon and a little demon in every angel…. 

MEMORIES

MEMORIES are the threads that connect us to the lost moments that were once our own. In a world, where nothing’s permanent, even time eludes us and leaves us alone to fend for ourselves. We let go of people, of near and dear ones, of our egos and inhibitions. But, one thing doesn’t leave us alone. It fills the void within us, with bitter and sweet moments. To make us laugh over the silly things about which we fretted and fumed and cry over pleasant ones that will never come again. 

 

To the most beautiful creation of God, to Memories………..

 Each moment of the year

has its own beauty….

A picture which was never seen before

and which shall be never seen again….

 

’cause circumstances change…

relationships change…

people’s attitudes change…

but memories are never washed away….

 

Time can hold us

and carry us forward

towards destinations….

But it can never hold back our emotions,

It can only witness our faith,

but never conquer it….

 

We may not be immortal,

but memories are…

Any force in the world,

cannot deter them…

Not we, but those ideas,

those memories,

will live till ETERNITY……. 

NEITHER STRONG NOR WEAK

Many a times,we feel that we are very strong. We are so brave, that we can face any hardship in the world. Any type of pain can never snatch our ability to laugh. Any hurt in the world can never contaminate our happiness. We plaster a benign smile on our face and show people around us, how tough we can be.

In turn, people adore us. Respect us. Look up to us.

Some,exhibiting the same mettle, get inspiration.

Others, weak and forlorn are full of awe and admiration.

For years, we live in this self-delusioned world. We cover ourselves with material happiness. We live under the guise of the courageous.

Until, one day, we realize, our resistance is faltering or perhaps, we never were so strong….

True, some people have a tremendous tolerance level. They can endure significant hardships and yet learn to search their happiness in the smallest of things. They can fill colors in bleak surroundings. They can hum songs without music.

Others are ordinary. They are sensitive even to little mishaps. They cry over slightest matters. They constantly fret over insignificant things. Melancholy is their way of life.

You might consider yourself a by-product of either of the groups. BUT, in reality, both the groups over-lap each other. The most successful person in the world carries the seeds of immense failure within him. In the same manner, the most sorrowful person on the earth is capable of acquiring the greatest happiness anyone has ever seen!!!

At any given point of life, you’ll belong to either of the group. You will never get the lifetime membership of any one group. Because, you belong everywhere. There is enough bad in you, to turn you into a killer. There is enough good in you, to turn you into a saint.

A DAY succeeds a NIGHT or a NIGHT succeeds a DAY.

Its how you look at things, does matter.

Our belief in good and evil is so distorted that we cannot understand the concept of dualism. Reality lays abandoned.

Inner strength develops over long battles of self-conflict.

Something that will tear you apart yet rejuvenate you as a whole, once it deems you worthy enough!!!

BURDEN OF TRUTH

At some point of ur lives

we carry A BURDEN OF TRUTH.

 

With years of living in a world

that is based on lies and decpetion;

truth in any form,

can be a little intimidating.

Beyond the world of illusions,

there is a certain reality that we have to face.

AND when we face it;

it will break us down.

For we don’t have the habit of

seeing the actual faces.

It’s masks that we observe and wear.

BUT, what will keep us going is that-

it’s the burden of “truth” and not “lie”

‘coz LIE however friendly it may seem, is corrupting.

While TRUTH though very weak, can be your greatest strength!!!

 

At one point of our lives

until we carry THE BURDEN OF TRUTH…. 

3 QUESTIONS

The 3 most important questions of life are:

1) Who am I?

2) What am I?

3) Where am I?

Here’s what I feel about them……

WHO AM I?

Many a times, I do wonder, who am I?

The answer lies within me but is it significant and would I be “this” all my life long? OR have I evolved over time, not only in this birth but all previous ones too, and keep on continuously doing so.

My purpose is, I believe, a part of a plan that was perhaps constructed long ago. When exactly? No one is sure! Because, perhaps, it goes beyond “time-lines”.

What exactly is time? Nothing but a convenience to measure and divide, so that it will be beneficial in identifying our purposes.

I am special. But sill, I have a long way to go. In the end, I just have to compete with my own self!

WHAT AM I?

Today, I read an article in the newspaper which says that, we are not the source of love but we help each other to access the love, that is the source.

Hence, I am a medium. One day, I am going to go beyond this and realize that my existence today is just “a single incident” and this collection of incidents will bring me to a point of spiritual growth sooner or later.

WHERE AM I?

I am here only physically, BUT, metaphysically, I am traveling and going on. Even if I die, I will continue to travel (perhaps in a different dimension).

I will love, I will hate. I will do all that is human. I will be a pioneer of both good and bad BUT whatever I do, whatever I be, I know, I will make an definite and everlasting “impact”.

It’s easy to be famous but it really means something to make a special change in other lives.

There is a reason for everything that happens.

One day, I will, probably, get all the answers OR probably I will die without getting any.

But, it gives immense satisfaction to know that REASONS do exist, even if I don’t know what they are!

These are my answers for the time being. But they are continuously getting updated and evolved.

At least, I have begun my ultimate QUEST.

What about you?

Are you ready to begin this journey?????

ULTIMATE TRUTH

Sometimes is Life

We get so used to

pitying ourselves

That we forget

the beauty of expressing

The moment we come to know

that we are loving too much

we stop and analyze

we re-think our closeness

& Re-calculate our approaches

And start living a planned life

With all it’s heartaches and pains

Destiny becomes a burden

We know nothing will remain the same

so we keep on avoiding attachments

Still at some point

we bind to people

to leave behind relationships

And shed tears

for a past

that should be long forgotten

Change remains the

only certainty

of our existence

And we curse and grumble

Yet accept the reality

‘coz that’s the only sane thing to do

Ultimately the only truth that remains is-

For the fear of future yet to come,

We stop living the today that is our very own……