PA’S PRINCESS

(Each one of us, has a special person in our lives that we hail as a father-figure. He can literally be our Dad, or an older brother or an uncle or a friend or just about anybody who has made us what we are today. A person, who has not only supported us throughout our life, but taught us it’s important lessons, gave us all the time in the world and never complained. Someone, who has loved has unconditionally, truly, with so much affection that it can never be measured. Some relationships go beyond the extent of words in their meaning and so beautifully become our very reason for living.

This poem, is dedicated, to that person in my life, who has made me what I am today….who has loved me as his own daughter, as his own kid, as his own life…..To my darling Mamoo….my Pa….)

I live in a dreamy fairytale

In a distant fantasy land

And feel the purest of pure love

Where all sorrow, is banned

He holds my hand

& guides me forward

And not for a moment

does he let me stray

He corrects my stumbles

& soothes my bruises

And stands by me day by day

Although he never taught me

how to walk

Yet he could hear the sound of my feet

And even from that great distance

He knew, one day, we would meet

He smiles softly at my chattering

And never for once, gets bored

He puts with my silly tantrums

Oh, he has always been the person I adored

Although he never heard my baby gibberish

or even my first word

But in that land far away

My life, he anchored.

He puts that sound in my laughter

He lights my face with a smile

He covers me with a blanket of happiness

And brightens me up in a while

Although he hasn’t always been a part of my joy

or a witness to all my mirth

But even in that physical distance

We got connected at birth

He wipes my tears with an instant ease

He drives my sorrow away

No worry, no tensions can touch me at all

He protects me night & day

Although he can’t shield me from all misfortune

Or see my tearful face

Far away, in his heart, he knows

All sadness in my life, can he erase

So, this person that I truly miss

who always listens to my blah blah

An image of a big hug & sweet sweet kiss

Is my darling Pa

He taught me whats right & wrong

And still teaches me  the lessons of life

How never to lose my self-respect

How to be cheerful & rife

His gifts are not material

They are the stepping stones of success

How to practice self-control

And live life with finesse

His lessons are inspiring

He taught me how a young woman should be

And though sometimes I missed the point

He explained that ‘patience’ is the key

He always made me realize

that helping people is fun

Never to think ill of others

And never from problems, to run

He made me face my fears

And stood strongly by my side

Yet he let me learn my own lessons too

And saw that I surely tried

I listen in wonder to his achievements

I am proud of all that he did

He has always been my hero

And I, that awe-struck kid

You might have such a person in your life

It may be your Dad or some other

A favorite sweet uncle or an older brother

A father figure that makes your life

And fills it with love & care

A man who carries you forward

And drives away all despair

I love you Pa for what you are

I am your number one fan

I always want to be your little kid

You are my superman

And I want to live in your great big arms

Where I know I’ll be safe forever

I’ll be showered by all sweet things in life

And feel lonely, never

Not all people become parents

Just because they have given birth

Pure affection has no boundaries

Some people are more precious than their worth

A solemn circle, this love

Connects people in mysterious ways

And forms lifetime relationships

Sprinkled with never-ending joyous days

So, I thank you for what you are for me

You are my beating heart

And even being on the opposite sides of the world

We could never be apart

I cannot touch but I can feel you

I can hear your comforting voice

I would run up to you and give you a hug

If  only I had the choice

One day, when you’ll be frail & old

I will take care of you as mine

I’ll sit by your bedside & love you so

And tell you all his fine

Then, I’ll be there for you

as you have always been

A friend, philosopher & guide all the way

Though you remained unseen

Hey Pa, stay with me forever

We have lost too many years, so to say

And though we can’t bring them back

Now, you cannot go away

Although you never witnessed my milestones

Or  figured in my childhood

Now you are a part of me

And this is just as good

So, I look at you & proudly say-

I am Pa’s princess & his girl

Who will grow up to be his constant support

And his shining pearl…..

THE LONGING

(The worst gift that you can give to the person you love the most is that of “waiting”. Because an eternity passes away yet you do not know when “the wait” will end. You do not know for how long it will stay. You do not know whether it will let you come back or force you to go away forever. Never to return. Never to look back. Never to rekindle the hopes of the ones waiting for you. The longing of being united..the longing of coming back…the longing for memories shared only in dreams….the longing of relationships that could have been……)

I wait for the time to pass

And come to that particular day

A day I had lived in the past

A day that took you away

Now it will repeat itself

Now it will live again

A day as insignificant as any other

A day that even time could not contain

I set my eyes on memories so old

An emotion so complex that words can’t hold

A separation that tears apart the very existence

A ballad of sentiments that remained untold

A touch of hope and that of despair

A joy unlimited yet bonded by care

A love so strong that it consumed all

Of protected instincts that were laid bare

A voice of sadness that trickles from the lips

A scarlet river like the blood that drips

A pain so profound that it perishes all

Like an unknown destination of many a ships

I still stand by the window

and count the stars

A lost memory

that we proclaimed ours

Left behind are

the broken threads

Left behind

a handful of scars

I am wiping out the proof

of pleasure and pain

The insolent dance

of sunshine and the rain

And withhold all happiness

till I reach that day

Till I gather the smiles

yet again

I thought waiting forever

had made me strong

Had took me beyond

what’s right & wrong

Still, as moments

come to close once & for all

I feel as if

I’ve forgotten the song

Years so many

were easy to pass

But months so few

I can’t outlast

And when the countdown

reaches to days

I will be left picking up

fragments of broken glass

I am here physically

but my mind’s elsewhere

I hear voices but pretend

not to care

It isn’t necessary that I indulge in

common things

Of everyday happenings

I don’t seem aware

I live in a world

fueled by imagination

That seeks out paths

to lost destinations

No language to express

just kingdom of silence

Yet I hold

perfectly sane conversations

I know nothing now

except the very end

A longing of

a distant & dear friend

An affection that surpassed

great understandings

So there’s nothing left now

to comprehend……

THE DREAM I SEE

(Each one of us dreams of beautiful things…of people, of places, of incidents…of small happiness, of big achievements, of all the joys in the world. We long for a contented life. Where we don’t have to regret our mistakes, never have to break relationships, never have to compromise our belief. Yet we move ahead with compromises, breaking those childhood promises we made for ourselves. With time, we achieve, money, position, stability, security yet we reach the deathbed with no innocence, compassion, no purity. And we wish, life was more of a dream than reality and then we could achieve all and everything with no regrets, only love…Having said that, it is also true that we have to live practically. Not all is achievable or not all impossible, but we do learn to actualize a balance of things and still live a contented life )

I live my life in the dream I see

‘coz it is so different from reality

And what I seek is a life like that

The one which is happy & pretty

Where I am carried away from this chaos

to a beautiful kingdom afar

And surrounded by love and trust and care

Beyond that little twinkling star……

In dream, I can do whatever I want

I can fill colors in others life

I can run & jump & glide & fly

I can erase out any strife

In dream, I can help the poor & needy

I can shelter them all from bad

I can easily kiss their problems goodbye

And make them content & glad

In dream, I can heal the weak & the sick

I can soothe their wounds & hurt

I can wipe their tears & lend them support

I can blow away their dirt

In dream, I can make peace with all around

And there won’t be any war

All can live a life of utmost happiness

If its well within my power

In dream, I can never let anyone go

And wouldn’t be afraid of death

All will go on living forever & ever

So there won’t be anymore last breaths

In dream, I can be forgiven for whatever I did

There won’t be any grudges of the past

I can be protected from great misfortunes

And make all relationships last

In dream, I can stay happy with my life

And make all regrets disappear

I can stop crying for the mistakes I did

And do nothing but cheer

In dream, I can be with the person I love

And there won’t be any boundaries or less time

For him, I can cross valleys so vast

For him, great mountains I can climb

In dream, I can also be a little child

With purity and innocence to hold

So that I can trust others blindly

And do as I have been told

And I can turn back time & bring it to a point

Where I can start this life anew

Connect myself with the paths desired

A memory of past so true

Never will I be alone

‘coz my heart will always cherish;

the one who is so very dear

And it will keep beating hard & forever so

For the life that I could live here!

I live my life in the dream I see

‘coz it is so different from reality

And what I seek is a life like that

The one which is happy & pretty

Where I am carried away from this chaos

to a beautiful kingdom afar

And surrounded by love and trust and care

Beyond that little twinkling star……

A KIND OF SELF-LOVE

( Sometimes, I guess, the love that we hold in our heart for ourselves encompasses all boundaries. It is really difficult to truly love someone unless we love ourselves completely. A self-love that teaches us to trust and to hope, of affection and care; teaches us all about joys and sorrows, about life and death and finally guides us to the final journey keeping the soul as our care-taker so that all that we know in end is a calm and tranquil peace! )

Do we need someone to love us so?

And share with us many a woe

Or we ourselves are the best solution?

Or a kind of retribution?

Our ears are our own

& will listen to everything

Echos of happiness

& sorrow they’ll bring

Our eyes will watch,

the life in stages

A beauty of  love,

that continues through ages

Our nose will smell,

the lover’s fragrance

Of  a certain time-

of lost remembrance

Our lips speak of a voice,

of better commitment

And a smile rests on them,

of some accomplishment

Our hands reach out,

to all the pain

Not letting the sacrifices,

to go in vain

Our feet tread,

new destinations

For a moment of solitude,

in long vacations

Our skin keeps feeling,

a mysterious touch

A deep affection,

without any boundaries as such

And lastly, a heart each of us does hold

That is filled with memories so ancient & old

That it continues to beat till the very end

And with the universe does it blend

Finally, we grieve and are left all alone,

To begin a journey of the unknown

What remains with us-

is this immortal soul

That even in incompleteness;

makes the life so whole….

A SOUL-MATE

“Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are always perfect for you.”

(Everyone in this world longs for a friend. Lucky are those who have someone to call their own. You don’t need tons of people as your mates. Only a few ones, those whom you trust with all your life, are enough to battle any sorrow and enough to share any amount of joy. A friend can be anyone who is dear with absolutely no restriction of age, status, caste, relation. That is the beauty of such a person. A BEST FRIEND! The best thing about friendship is that it can co-exist with any given relationship in the world as well as survive alone….

To my best friend, with love and gratitude, here’s something that has been written with you in mind……….)

You seek a shoulder in pain

Pray that your call does not go in vain

You wait for that lovely smile

That makes you happy in a while

A hand to guide, a hug to say

That you are loved in more than one way

Someone who will not judge you ever

But stand by your side forever & ever

Someone who will care for you even when you are lame

Someone who will cheer you in every game

Someone who won’t get bored whatever you say

And with some silly joke can make your day

Someone who will bring you in, when others kick you out

With whom, even for a moment, you are never in self-doubt

A BEST FRIEND is what each one wants

To shield from misfortunes & protect from taunts

Yet, is that friend  some person totally new?

Or someone old, with whom you grew?

Do you choose him from one so many?

Or do you meet him suddenly on any day sunny?

Is that friend a familiar face?

A person so known that you can’t replace…

Or is he stranger who seems so dear?

Its as if he has been always near…

Who exactly is a BEST FRIEND?

Someone to support & someone to depend

A mirror image of our own self

A helping hand as well as a plea for help

He is an answer to our every question

A pill to combat any depression

A ray of light, a chunk of hope

A bunch of roses, a tool to cope

An innocence that sparkles, in the eyes

A relation even stronger than the blood ties

A FRIEND is “trust” in oneself and all

A soothing ointment after a great fall

Of love and care he constitutes a shrine

A soul-mate, with powers divine!!!

I, AN OUTSIDER

(Why is it that despite trying hard to fit “in”, you are always left “out”? Why is that for no reason at all you are shunned and rejected all your life? Why is it that you are a scapegoat for all mishaps? Why is it that you are not given a chance to show what you really are? Why everything you do is labeled as “fake”? Why despite of years of relationships, you are still considered an outsider? An outsider, among the own…… )

All I need is one more chance

To prove my loyalty to you

Not to be misjudged as I always was

Just not to be loved by few

To tell you I am not that bad

I have so much of good in me

To make an effort to be connected

What is it that you can’t see?

Why am I isolated like this?

Why am I not worth your trust?

Why do you always betray me?

Why ignoring me is a must?

I try to keep my patience

And keep all relations intact

I am unconditional

and ask nothing in return

Yet you call all this an “act”?

I need love in return

And not dislike

I need you to stand by my side

Support is what I ask for

And not something material

Yet I am pushed aside!

Why are the rules different for me?

Why am I rejected?

You keep me out where others are let in

Just what from me is expected?

Stop it ‘coz it is enough

Just how much more do you think I can take?

One day I may not tolerate it

And cause all relations to break

But, I keep hanging in

‘coz I still think

Someday all will be fine

You will love me for real

and keep me near

And say that you are mine

What a day it will be

What happiness

For that I waited all my life

To be hugged and kissed

by calling me your own

And keeping this affection rife

But nothing happens

and I am an still outsider

I am left, all alone

I see from far

and not allowed to enter

I am an entity unknown

All I need is one more chance

To prove my loyalty to you

Not to be misjudged as I always was

Just not to be loved by few

I need people around me

lots of them

Those who can read my heart

And believe in me

for what I am

And never keep me apart

Will my dream be fulfilled?

Will I be accepted?

I can do anything you ask me to

For all I want is inner peace

It’s about time I got my due

So, tell me–

Just what can I do to be loved by you?

Just how do I behave?

Will be shunned like this and hated the most;

Until I reach my grave?

“The WRONG kind of people DISLIKE you for the GOOD in you & the RIGHT kind of people like you knowing the bad in you!”

BIRD IN CAGE

(“Freedom could sometimes be terrible”. All of us has someone in our lives to guide us and support us all the time. These people prepare us to face the world. Most of us live a protected existence for a long time and then are slowly and steadily seasoned to fly freely into this big world. However, sometimes, fate could compel us to be thrown in to the world long before our time. That is when we see the world in its true colors, with its sufferings, hate and sorrow and we feel lost ‘coz we still have a lot to learn. And learn we will. Everybody does…. But lets hope that we have been set free in this world properly seasoned and finally one day when its time for us to let someone go, we have performed our duty well & giving our gift of a freedom to someone better….)

I am a bird in cage

I know not how to fly

Is it my destiny to be imprisoned

and in the same way wither & die?

They love me those who keep me

They shower me with things

They never let me weep

Only caress my lovely wings

I get all the care I want

I seek not anything new

I am taught all about life

and the world covered in morning dew

Sometimes I cry for the sky

To be independent & free

To lead my life & make my way

To build a home on a beautiful tree

Yet I know what they do for me

Is helping me become something

So that when I finally fly into the world

I would be strong from within

I learned to live my life this way

and become dependent on those who cared

I liked to live by the rules set for me

O’ this is how I was reared

I became different from the likes of my own

I became loyal to my master

I wanted to go ahead slow & steady

Not rush or run away faster

But I know not what happened

They wanted to let go of my life

They wanted me to learn my own lessons

To experience my own sorrow & strife

And they opened the cage & set me free

Into the daunting blue skies

Had their love for me dwindled over the years?

There were no emotions in their eyes

My tears had a story to tell

I knew someday I was going to be on my own

But I thought it was still time

O’ when were these seeds of separation sown?

Having being dependent so long

I felt helpless, afraid & meek

From the chirpy fluttery bird that I was;

I went to be downtrodden & weak

To each his own and all alone

we are in this beautiful world, you know

But since childhood, with loved ones

is how we learn to exist & grow

And one day suddenly we have to fly away

& search out for our reasons to live

This wisdom that we accumulate over years

Later to someone else we give

So when its time for you; to set someone else free-

See that he or she has got their voice

‘coz if you let go of someone unprepared in this world

Remember, freedom could be a terrible choice!!!

UNREASONABLE

(“Unreasonable” is a poem I believe in bcoz I think sometimes when you finally get something you have been always yearning for; you become totally impractical about it. Love is something that should set you free and not something that keeps you chained. Can it still be true love if it keeps hurting you more than keeping you or the other person happy?

Have you ever loved someone so much that you feel you don’t deserve them and they are better off without you?

Yet I know, my love is true but will I get anything by fleeing away from it?

The only person who can answer this question, I dedicate this poem to him……)

Never love someone so much, that you become;

dependent on them…

Never love someone so much, that you are;

a burden for them…

Why don’t you leave me & let me be

and go out from my life

How does it hurt, the way I behave;

like a sharp & pointed knife

I can’t let you go;

can’t let you stay

I cannot follow you;

or make my own way

I am so confused,

Is this what I want?

A kind of insecurity-

my heart does flaunt

I make you do unreasonable things

and those which don’t have a point

I want to make you happy

Yet all I do is disappoint

I trouble you and irritate a lot

I hurt you so much, I swear

All of my childish behavior

Just how do you manage to bear?

Don’t you feel like killing me

and throwing me out forever?

Don’t you feel like hating me

and seeing my face never?

I am pushing you far away

but holding your hand tight

The immense love I have for you

I don’t know whether it’s right?

Is it bad to love you so much?

Is it bad to hold you close?

When I become so possessive about you-

why don’t you just oppose?

All these years I kept everyone away from me

and only allowed “you” near

Of being friends with someone

I always wanted to stay clear

However, you came & taught me to share

To open up like a flower

You taught me to how to trust

and have faith in every hour

And I fell for it and formed a relationship

of many a different name

Kept being selfish

and loving you all the same

Just too much of a good thing

can be bad too; how bad did I get?

Yet you were understanding;

How can I repay your debt?

Why does love makes us impractical?

Why does life becomes a dream?

That which will never be fulfilled

And goes beyond extreme

My unrealistic expectations

might take a toll on you some day

My illogical concerns

might just drive you away

I wish this would have never happened

and we were all alone

Content with keeping people out

and being in the world for our own

Now all you are left with is

my unreasonable affection

And a heart that is chaining you to it

‘coz it is so scared of rejection

Never love someone so much, that you become;

dependent on them…

Never love someone so much, that you are;

a burden for them…

A BEAUTIFUL DEATH

(The other day, a pretty butterfly fluttered through the window and landed on my bed. It beat its wings and tried to fly back but I noticed it was wounded. It struggled to live and soar up high but alas, I knew it was going to die. Its agony was impossible to bear and I felt sad that I could do nothing about it. Finally, I knew what to do. I gently picked it up and placed it among the flowers in my garden. I did so, because I thought, anyways it is going to die, then why not let it die among the things it loves. And, what could be more important for a butterfly than flowers?

I think all of us secretly wish that kind of death. To be able to die in the arms of the one we love…..peacefully…. )

What will be the most wanted death?

Wrapped in love and a beautiful wreath

Will you want a silent one to be;

An end to your eternity?

No pain or hurt, just calm and quiet

A death so serene may seem very right

Yet is it the death that we deserve?

All the innocence in us can it preserve?

Until the last when time comes for us to leave

We learn only how to grieve

With years of running away from the ultimate truth

And blatant grasping of the youth

We can’t let go of simple things

Constant thinking, only sorrow brings

We live knowing that one day we die

Still we sorrowfully mourn and cry

Even people who wait for their death

Are indeed scared till their last breath

Wishing to put an end to life

Is just an unwanted strife

We regret about the life we never had

And keep hoping for it so bad

Those little things we fail to see

That give a reason for us to be

We feel remorse for a life less spent

Don’t acknowledge the angel that God has sent

The one, whose love is pure as pure can be

But sometimes from it we try to flee

Our agony so great, we desire to part

And intend to kill our beating heart

But we harbor a fantasy and make a plan

How to say goodbye to the clan

How to become obsolete

And happily accept the final defeat

Do you know what kind of death we want?

The one in our dreams that does haunt

We yearn to die in the arms of the one we love

And close our eyes seeing this one above

Hold hands as if they will never go

A stream of tears from us does flow

But we know now begins a journey new

One that we have heard about but don’t have a clue

A journey that each man must take alone

To a single destination yet unknown

All I have to say is this

This is what we truly miss

A desire of the most beautiful death

Wrapped in love and a flowery wreath

We sink into oblivion with that embrace

Fill the eyes with that one single face

And thus we die with our lips curved into a smile

Defying the death that had been written erstwhile….

LOVE THAT FAILED…

(Its ironical that I am writing this poem, after a positive feeling like “never-ending love” but I guess, that’s what life is all about. It is a great big irony. Sometimes, the love that grows inside you and the one you think is so deep, at one point of time is as shallow as shallow can be….)

Have I condemned you to live

when all you want is death?

Have I forced you to suffer

for my own pleasure?

Have I chained you

to a life you don’t want?

Have I wounded you

beyond measure?

Have I made you emotional

and weak in heart?

Have I made you

so vulnerable?

Have I messed your plans

and compelled you to be happy?

And made you so unstable?

I wanted my love

to guide you back

And keep all feelings

in you, intact

But I could not beat

the demons you brought from your past

Living each day

hoping it to be your last

My love is tainted

‘coz it gave you false hope

A happiness so vast

that you failed to cope

You still ache

with those memories so old

So many secrets

between us, untold

Even with years of closeness

I could not be

Someone who will wipe

all your pain

Your hurt’s so deep

Your sorrow so endless

That all my efforts

have gone in vain

I could not give you

a reason to laugh

or a reason for you to smile

I could not give you

a reason to be important

As you have become

for me, in a while

Neither could I give you

a reason to forget

nor a reason for you, to leave

A reason to look forward

to the future

Or a reason, to believe

And now my love

is a burden for you

It won’t let you live

It won’t let you die

From outside,

its as perfect as can be

Yet in true form

All it does, is make you cry…..