I USED TO HAVE A BEST FRIEND…

(“I used to have a best friend” shares its similarities with the previous poem “We’ve drifted apart”. However, this one looks from the angle of a friend; friendships are so important in life. We can survive with the loss of a lover but losing a friend is like losing your identity; losing the very meaning of life!

The end of this poem might seem abrupt. But I have deliberately left it so. Because life loses its completeness with the loss of a best friend and this poem best remains incomplete…. )

I used to have a best friend

and he made my life whole

A friend, philosopher, guide

He played my life’s every role

I used to have a best friend

He used to live in my smile

Fill my surroundings with laughter

And make my time worthwhile

I used to have a best friend

He used to make me dance

And make my heart break into a song

With a single loving glance

I used to have a best friend

Who used to stand by me in thick & thin

Never did he let my days

Sink into chaos and din

I used to have a best friend

who also made me cry

But when I fell down & could not get up

He taught me how to fly

I used to have a best friend

Who sometimes got angry with me

Yet when we didnt talk for even a minute

He would beg and come to plea

I used to have a best friend

And though we had many a fight

In the end he just hugged me

And everything seemed so right

I used to have a best friend

And we used to talk every day

We might be anywhere in the world

But by thought, were never away

His calls fueled my happiness

His voice got me through the day

And when I was overwhelmed with work

He made everything okay

And then all changed……….

The calls dwindled & came to a stop

The mornings turned very bleak

The very reason that brightened my day

Went from strong to being weak

Sometimes I would remember some joke

Some funny moment we shared

And memories would come rushing back

As if he still cared

I didn’t know, whom to tease to

Or with whom to share my woes

I guess when best friends break up

They end up worse than foes

Death is not the only thing that separates people

Believe me, its true

What separates people is ignorance

Of a relationship they once knew

When the person who loved you once

Now behaves as if you don’t exist

And when you try to go away

He doesn’t even try to resist

I can cope with the loss of a mentor

I can cope with the loss of  a lover

But losing a best friend is traumatic

No identity left to discover

No other friend can make up

For the void that the best one has left

Even when you surround yourself with people

Forever  does life harbors; a deep-rooted painful cleft

If you have lost a best friend

You may know how it might feel

There’s no meaning to your life

How much ever you try to conceal

I used to have a best friend

I used to have a life

I used to have a best friend

I used to have a life

WE’VE DRIFTED APART

(Having written poems on “Soulmates” and having read a lot on that matter too; I came across a concept of “False Soulmates”; these are people we “think” that are our soulmates whom we love and admire but in reality its a mistake that we make……soulmates are relations of a lifetimes…..false soulmates may be people we love and care about but it is not a lifetime relation; it lasts a season.

“We’ve drifted apart” is an account of how love that we once think is pure and endless actually is feeble and hollow from inside. We are unwilling to accept it and keep the relation going for the sake of it. But at some point in life we’ve to accept the truth and learn to let go…..)

I pause and look behind

And wish I would find him there

Not trying to follow me

But just to let know that he cares

Yet all I find is a lonely road

A barren stretch of land

I am left carrying this heavy load

With no one to give a hand

I lay my sight on his arrival

My eyes wander and silently wait

All I am left with is distant memories

and a dash of  ungrateful fate

No longer does his voice

soothe me and protect me from the pain

No longer do his strong hands

Cover me from the torrential rain

Neither does my voice

brings him any joy or hope

No longer does my laughter

Gives him a reason to cope

My hands fall insufficient

They can no longer wipe his tears

I can’t even cheer him up anymore

Or diminish his fears

There’s no magic in this relation anymore

No spark as it used to be

An obligation that is making this continue

No true love left to see

We politely acknowledge each other

And behave like strangers you know

We mildly accept our presence in each others lives

Just waiting for the right moment to let go

We smile outwardly

to hide the inward hurt

We cover our bruises with smiles

To let the confrontation avert

He doesn’t miss me anymore

He won’t mind if we don’t talk for days

It’s OK if I silently vanish from his life

It’s OK if we part ways

We don’t believe in our love anymore

It was just a passing phase

The affection’s a bit rusty now

The feelings in bit of a haze

Only pleasant memories remain back

To torture and inflict the sting

The true happiness that we shared once

The ghosts of past reminiscence cling

We lost ourselves somewhere

along this path

We were never meant to be together

Our relation just an illusion

Couldn’t survive this rough weather

I pray we make our choice

To stop pretending and accept whats true

Bade each other goodbye

Or keep acting as if we don’t have a clue

Only we are to blame for the hurt we face

Only we can bring ourselves to agree

This life a constant struggle, a disgrace

Only we can set ourselves free

‘Coz now we know, how much ever we cry

No longer do we live in each other’s heart

Denial can be so terrifying

Now that we have drifted apart…..