LOVE THAT FAILED…

(Its ironical that I am writing this poem, after a positive feeling like “never-ending love” but I guess, that’s what life is all about. It is a great big irony. Sometimes, the love that grows inside you and the one you think is so deep, at one point of time is as shallow as shallow can be….)

Have I condemned you to live

when all you want is death?

Have I forced you to suffer

for my own pleasure?

Have I chained you

to a life you don’t want?

Have I wounded you

beyond measure?

Have I made you emotional

and weak in heart?

Have I made you

so vulnerable?

Have I messed your plans

and compelled you to be happy?

And made you so unstable?

I wanted my love

to guide you back

And keep all feelings

in you, intact

But I could not beat

the demons you brought from your past

Living each day

hoping it to be your last

My love is tainted

‘coz it gave you false hope

A happiness so vast

that you failed to cope

You still ache

with those memories so old

So many secrets

between us, untold

Even with years of closeness

I could not be

Someone who will wipe

all your pain

Your hurt’s so deep

Your sorrow so endless

That all my efforts

have gone in vain

I could not give you

a reason to laugh

or a reason for you to smile

I could not give you

a reason to be important

As you have become

for me, in a while

Neither could I give you

a reason to forget

nor a reason for you, to leave

A reason to look forward

to the future

Or a reason, to believe

And now my love

is a burden for you

It won’t let you live

It won’t let you die

From outside,

its as perfect as can be

Yet in true form

All it does, is make you cry…..

NEVER-ENDING LOVE

( Sometimes, we share a relationship that can never be explained. The emotions associated with it are unparallel and the attachment, unbreakable. So beautiful and significant is this relationship that it does not exist because of life; rather, the life exists because of this relationship…. For the most special person in my life, a poem that will remain unforgotten…)

Do we know each other from our last birth?

Have we ever lived long ago on this Earth?

Why is so familiar, your every thing?

I know you from before, a bell does ring.

I have heard your voice;

I could recognize it anywhere

Your face has haunted my dreams

I know you well, I swear

The sound of your laughter has filled my ears

Its as if I know you from years and years

In grief & sorrow, your shoulder I seek

To derive support & lean on when my strength is weak

To see you suffering, is my worst fear

And your every achievement for me, is dear

In your eyes, pure truthfulness, do I see

At this moment we are meant to be

Forever & ever, all emotions will last

From ages & aeons, this relationship’s been cast

Time will pass & centuries unfold

Our story will linger, surpassing the heat & cold

Names might be forgotten, but presence will live

Of this attachment, a proof it will give

Through re-births & re-incarnations & blessings from above;

A tale will be told of our “never-ending love”……

ENCLOSED MEMORIES

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.

~ The Wonder Years

How funny and sad yet true; Memories have a much stronger hold on us than we imagine them to have. Ever wondered, when we look back, why do we laugh over all the troubled times of the past that don’t matter much now AND how pathetically we cry over all the happy ones that will never come again. Because, Sorrow in the long run, is nothing but a point of life to grow and learn and smile about and Happiness, in long run becomes a pain to endure forever….

Yet, for us, memories represent our whole lives. Even a 10 year old kid recounts the days when he was a baby. And then, as we grow older, our bag of memories becomes heavier and heavier until to the very end of our life, when we are a stooping old man, with a big sack of both pleasure and pain positioned on our back. A sack of memories…..

A camera is something all of us desire. We long as kids for those cartoon models, short and compact. We like showing them off to our buddies, clicking pictures on the playground, in the cafeteria, in classrooms, birthday parties, hanging out in the backyard, family outings….just about everytime. We wish to enclose every single moment in a picture or in a video. And years later, when we open up that dusty album, we automatically get transported to a different world. A world that once was our own. But, a world where we are mere strangers now.

I can remember all the cameras that I have owned. I still have them, safe and sound, yet I never stopped buying newer and newer models. This one’s the latest, the new sony cybershot. Its small and cute and now means everything to me.

Some years back, even the memories from the camera took a long time to develop. The film inside needed to be washed and then you used to get the photos. However, now with the advent of digital cams, you can have even few hours old memories stored safely on your computer.

This is one of the earliest picture that I clicked. I simply loved the simplicity of it. It was not a sigficant moment at all. Yet I know, as long as I have this picture, I shall remember that day. A very normal sunny day, with the beautiful sun shining, a forget-me-not blue sky, clouds like white cotton candy and flowers like innocent little children dancing along with the light cool breeze.

A moment so fleeting, so ordinay……a memory so everlasting, so extraordinary…..

Life is beautiful, just like the flower. So pure and white and it encloses so many memories. So many moments of “I wish”, “If only” and “What if”….. Of “could been” and “have been”. Of death, despair, disappointments, of hurt and wounds. Of life, love, joy, successes, of mirth and laughter. Of family and friends, of complete strangers, of the vast nature, of even the animals and the birds.

Life is like food. So very delecious, so very tasty and so very very necessary. It is something, without which, we cannot live. So is life. Life is different from Existence. In existence, we only exist but in Life, we live, we grow, we learn, we teach and we love….

Life is like food. Colorful. Tempting. Aromatic. It is our fuel. It compels us to always keep moving forward and never look back. o go on and on. It keeps supplying the energy and we keep converting it to do something productive.

People fade out from our lives. Not all, but chosen few are destined to be with us forever; while most of them last a season. (Previous entry: A reason for a season)

We keep on living no matter what. For us, no one’s gone, no one dies, we keep them alive day after day, night after night. Physical death is a mere certainty but people go on living in every memory they shared.

So strong are the memories, so strong their power, so obvious their existence yet so unpredictable their effect. They are an essential component of our life, something without which we are incomplete, something that connects our one life with millions of others, something that tunes our heart to the music of the world….

So, get a camera and start clicking. It need not be an expensive one. Even a small one will do. Click and store the photos, send them to family and friends, display them to the world. ‘Coz every moment that you captured, was once a part of your life which can never be erased. Every memory that will keep you alive even when you go away. A proof that you lived, you loved, you laughed and you enjoyed.

I know, our brain is a wonderful organ. And we can store memories there without having a camera. But, what a camera does is, it never misses any details. And sometimes, details are the only things that make a memory whole and authentic. You might use it for certain family functions or trips and all special ocassions and still know that even when you click a picture on a perfectly ordinary day, it gets etched in the life as an extraordinary never-before moment….

Life is indeed a MEMENTO……